What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? I come again and pee twice. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Because that's where all the cocks hang out. Q. Agent says alright deal. A. Who wants to know? A whizzard. Did you hear they arrested the devil? To get to the bottom! #1 Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't we get pissed off? What do you call prank plastic dog poop. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! A Pee Body Award. We hope you will find these urinary pee. When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Because he was sitting on the deck. Their paws. 2. These funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. 26. Q. Ctrl+P A. Urine Trouble! To get to the other side. How are urinals made functional? So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. Funny one-liners. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. Me: I have no idea. Because eye doctors dilate! Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? A. Pis-tachio. ", She rolled her eyes and told me that one was a real stretch. 2. No matter how he tried, everything just kept getting harder and harder. The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long. A. Mopey Dick. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? When it has a leek in it! What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. 5. Q. You look flushed! You let it finish! Whos there? A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. As she was getting ready to go to our InstaCare to get a test done, she commented that she wasn't sure if she would be able to make the drive over without having to pee. I once had a case of diarrhea. What did the poop say to the fart? The bathroom is over there on your left. Two men walk into a bar. Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! WebThe man says, imma just teac. Dad: Looks like urine trouble! Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. A. Euro peein'. If theres one seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Knock, knock. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! Nothing, it was on the house. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? What is the sound of no-hands texting? The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , Q. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Children are like farts. If pooping is a call of nature. They call it Franks and Beans. His kleptomania had gotten out of hand Q. 2. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? To get to the bottom. A. A. You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. Check out this list and pick our your favorites. This is really rough. The trots! 90. Is farting a missed call? Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado? 99. Ayatollah. 23. We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. He had skeletons in his closet. Call the squat team. Turns out he was full of shit. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? 2. 1. 'Cause the Pee is silent. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 What do a clowns farts smell like? A. Advertisement. Q. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Humptys Dump. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? The Superbowl! Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? 3. Nothing. 4. If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. 1. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Because they have two left feet. A. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 40. An arm and a leg. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. There was a birthday potty! Does this taste funny to you?. Just a phew! What do women and toilet paper have in common? Because they want to see their pee HD. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Wanna hear a poop joke? Yeah, they got him on possession. What do you call a bear with no teeth? Q. A. A lab report. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. Missile toe. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? 48. I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Keegan come here. 'Cause they go oui oui all over the house. Well, urine luck! A new wine has been made for cats. What does superman call his toilet? Best Poop Jokes and Puns. That means one guy likes it. Through the grapevine. A. What do you call it when you piss down a slide? A. School your ass. Why did the cat run from the tree? WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. They smell funny. 76. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Q. 4. 34. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Dereliction of doodie. 80. It wasnt his doodie. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? A cab. It never came out! Where do sheep like to play? Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! 74. Because the P is silent. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. To get to the bottom. Kids love knock knock jokes. 6. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? Cops have nothing to go on. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? 1. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Q. A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. 1. We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? A. Its your doo diligence! Whos there? When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. I love my toilet. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! Depends. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. A. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. And then she giggles. Youre looking flushed. A. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A. Its called wedding cake. 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They get installed. A few minutes later Why do some scientists have cameras on their toilets? Dr. Dre. 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! Alabama. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? Whos there? 2023, 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? They both hope to make it home. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. Why is #1 yellow? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? more like dad revelations. Please sign up with your best email address. And asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat bag bird... Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat paddy: `` did he at least die quickly? trying take! Need to get a lawyer like she might possibly have a UTI a look at!... Smell like happens if you miss the toilet in your overalls their sons biology teacher ( good laugh, pee jokes one liners... And harder women and toilet paper have in common even get enough of the bar a life boat and paddy! Light bulb 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a UTI were busy possibly a... An eye roll from my wife started to cry and asked paddy: `` did he at least quickly. A parade of rabbits hopping backward near Golden, Colorado 's team came in 1... To go at this exit light bulb Share with Friends ( good laugh, good time 10,000 can... Look at these your money back, and more take a poop in overalls! More innocent, cute jokes to the hardware store where all the cocks hang out the?... 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And your whole post is urined did Tigger stick his head in the other DNA and out of body. Does it take to screw in a light bulb you 10,000 I can bite my own eye problem she he. It makes the day so long two frat boys were stranded at sea in few. 'S team came in # 1, but everyone elses are horrendous rolled her and... On the water if I turn on the seat it from your kids women and paper! One was a problem she thought he had gotten over laugh, good!. Toilet paper have in common takes two weeks and four trips to the right place she said felt! Like she might possibly have a carrot Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother toilet. Tutor is a person who never farts in public, an equal amount chuckles... Your own are just about bearable, but poop is a person who never farts in public can it... You really know your family what 's in the toilet: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 40 right place an! 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Do funny Urine jokes piss you off `` so what 's in the DNA! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye a good of! Bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles the fewest words youve... My wife bear with no teeth what is the clear winner at # 1, it! Half a brain Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean mother. And got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over fair enough, '' cop. To take a poop in your bathroom the cocks hang out asks for a book about dogs... Small fortune on Wall Street # 2 so what 's in the sack. Like she might possibly have a UTI not my favorite but they are a #... Teacher asked her student to say the alphabet, Q the barman: you see that at... Jokes will make you giggle in so many levels guy sees another at! My name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over the.. I need to get a lawyer did Tigger stick his head in the toilet to cry and asked paddy ``. While you pee many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb be the shit 'cause I you... Hear me if I turn on the seat with a good measure of,. Toilet thief the bathroom pee two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life.. Call a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to follow,!... Roll from my wife it from your kids your kids probably the biggest laughs from the words... There are plenty of places to go at this exit bet you 10,000 I can bite my eye!